happy

So figuring out my g1 has special features i never knew about is awesome :) woo hoo! I <3 this phone.....i wish i could keep it forever

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katy perry

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:D

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memories

So watching this movie UP! w/ my bf was soo much fun &&& cute because i got to see alot of cute things the old man does for the <3 of elle, kevin &&& the little asian kid.

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family

Sometimes family gets on your nerves &&& can get you to pull your hair out. But sometimes friends become more than family, because they support you through thick &&& thin. Even though family will love you unconditionally, they will turn there back on you. Also friends understand that what you are doing sometimes is a mistake but they will guide you if possible to change your mind because they care. But if you do decide to keep going on w/ your decision, then they'll be behind you even though they dnt agree.

But.....you have to love them (family/friends) through anything. You have to be patient &&& understanding, not self-interested, caring &&& respectful too. To me my family is everything &&& especially now that my family is being teared apart by measures that I don't understand &&& or wish for anyone to go through.

Yet @ the end of the day problems are erased @ least through my mind &&& what ever happened, happened. Yes, it might have hurt but life goes on. I became a better person living through that mistake &&& well i thank whoever was there for being there &&& getting me to learn even if it was the wrong way or a way that i just didnt want to do it, but it got me out of my box &&& made me a tougher person to deal w/ things that life swings @ me.

Also i enjoy bringing my friends &&& family closer to me &&& making them feel welcomed into my house because that is how i am. &&& w/ my bf now, hes welcomed anywhere i go because i need him to feel like a part of the family because he will be w/ me for the rest of each others life :D

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a muh zing moments in life

God never seizes to amaze even the strongest of his believers. I personally believe in God, trust in God &&& know that God is good all the time.

But today was an extraordinary day....why? Because a really good friend of mine had that feeling that something wasn't right w/ me &&& well she called me &&& knew immediately that something wasn't right. So she came to my rescue. Even though I didn't ask for her help, she knew inside me I was yelling for help.

So she came over &&& tried talking to me....really while she was talking i was a whole nother person &&& i could hear her but i wasnt listening. We left my house to speak somewhere less comfortable &&& while @ jamba juice, she was telling me some things i wanted to say "yes your right!"....but something wasnt letting me. I was trapped in my own body &&& that feeling is something i dnt ever want to feel again. I had a blank look on my face &&& i knew i wanted to tell her "yes please help me" but i couldnt. &&& then it hit me it was one sentence that made me change how i was acting. "Let him understand it'll be done, if he doesnt respect your decision" wow i then shook my head &&& cried, i reached over to my friend cried &&& felt loose. Wow it was a really good feeling ! Because my body had just felt like it was in a trance &&& that feeling is no one i ever wish to have.

Thankfully my friend kept talking to me about God &&& reading verses to me out of the bible &&& i think all that helped cut the chains of my life free. I do trust in God, i think i just need to show that more often to him in actions.

Getting home i didnt know how i was going to tell my bf about what i needes to do. So i called him right up &&& decided to tell him what i think we really should do &&& told me "yeah, i think the same thing &&& there is no worry or rush".

Wow was that a relief! I had just had anxiety attacks the whole afternoon &&& that was because i felt i was getting pushed into something i did want but not @ that vey moment. So now me &&& my bf are on the same page &&& are deciding our future @ this precise moment.

I l o v e God &&& thank him for everyday of learning different ways; of doing things, thinking &&& acting.

So now that God has made my day wonderful &&& i feel like a new person, i sure hope my mom is wholeheartartely genuine w/ eric that way we can keep on moving our life forward &&& enjoy it down the road

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troubles

Living life through ups &&& downs makes you not want to keep pushing, but if you push &&& perservere; youll get double the blessings &&& peace of mind once you get through your troubles.

Its like when you have something bad to say or you did an error/mistake, you get this weird stomach feeling that you know its your gut telling you its wrong dont do it but your wonderful brain &&& soul tell you do it. Your body goes all ka wa bunga on you &&& @ the end your mind decides &&& you do what you feel is best.

@ the end of the day your gut &&& mind are right. Even if you do get in sticky situations or get in trouble life goes on &&& these are your mistakes that you have to live w/ &&& continue your life on.

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leaving

Leaving your life behind for someone is major right? But you do it because you L O V E someone &&& decide your spending your whole life w/ them &&& dont need any of the outside world, all you need is them..... For me its not leaving all my world behind, its knowing that little by little the ppl that i take seriously will come back to my life if im really that important to them. &&& yeah maybe this isnt the right path to take because if it doesnt work out w/ my <3ed one than who will i turn to. But if its real friends your talking about they will never turn your back on you.

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names

So growing up you get called names but none do you really wear proudly...or do you?

I understand that yes, sometimes i might be a geek, nerd, goodie two shoes, gullible, brat, indian giving, bitch, liar, flirt &&& airhead.

But the one i understand &&& say i am myself is: being gullible. Why? You may ask? You look like a nice smart person....Yes! But just because i am smart doesnt mean i give people the benefit of the doubt &&& let them show themselves right to me. In that case i will believe their lies &&& not see when people lie to me because i care alot to see when or when not a person is lying to me. Karma eventually will get them back but for now, let me believe you @ the end of the day, whatever happens to me, will end up happening to you twice as worse. &&& also i will forgive you &&& believe all your reasons on why you lied to me but never will i forget because the mind is a powerful thing. Thats why i wait to see peoples real colors. To know if they lie,cheat &&& steal from my life body &&& soul.

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daffodills

Learning from your mistakes makes you a better individual to live w/ in this world. why are ppl so afraid to let others fall into the same hole they've fallen into? they fall &&& had some1 try to pull them back up &&& look @ their life now. they are wonderful human beings; who understand the meaning of "you l i v e &&& you l e a r n". yeah it must hurt to see a <3ed one on the floor being so defenseless but that is the only way you learn. from your mistakes &&& getting back up &&& shaking yourself off :D

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what makes you stay???

What does make me stay w| my l o v e??? Is it that I've invested soooo much of myself in this realtionship even thought its only been about 4 mths? Is it that I've found a guy that actually wants to be w| me his whole rest of his life. The one he wants to see walk down the aisle only to know that he will be putting a ring on my finger, the one he wants to care for when we both find out that I will be carrying our child, the one he wants to grow old w| &&& know that I will be there for him.Shouldnt I be his everyday happiness the one he knows will be there @ the end of the day waiting for him w| a BIG smile &&& warm arms for him to sleep on??? Shouldn't he know that my patience becomes the best when I'm w| him, &&& my behavior has been tweaked to keep him in my life because he is the l o v e of my life? He is the one who once I've woken up, wish he was next to me. So I could feel his warmth on my skin, to know that he is w| me &&& w| no one else...the one I wish that he could kiss my hand &&& make me feel chills that go all through my spine, feet &&& ends of my hair. I wish I could feel him looking @ me. Because right now it feels like a dream how it falls apart but love <3 keeps us together

learning from others

Who would've ever known that life has a special someone waiting out there for each of us not just as our soul mates but as our other half. . .the fact that we meet ppl &&& then they walk out of our lives for one reason or the other makes us realize that while they were with us we became a better person for the teachings they gave us the laughter &&& tears &&& even the most interpersonal way to communicate to a person : a K I S S for this I believe that when meeting a new person you bring out the best &&& hide the worst but while doing that some ppl might not want to see just the surface so they stick around more get to be there when you most need the support &&& get to know you lil by lil tear &&& laughter who you really are.its amazing &&& wonderful how the fact that we stereotype ppl or even judge them clouds our mentality to how they really are. So for this fact we need to give ppl a chance to grow on us for us to say "I liked hanging out with you" "I liked meeting you""Let's do this again some other time" this is to teach us that who we were really with @ that time in our life does not need as much attention then who we really are giving a chance to because they are teaching you a lot of things would've never learned if not for them.

love

when does l o v e really come to you???

is it when you are really truly enjoying who you are or is it when life feels like you are prepared to deal w/ it???

what does l o v e consist of? respect, trust, or communication. . .

questions. . . .

az trip part 1 cont. &&& 2 :)

so after i ate my cousins ceviche which actually came out tasting like a cocktail de camarones:( but it was really good even though her husband said it was bad. i then came into the room to sit w/ my niece, but she wanted to watch a Barbie movie &&& i was soo totally not going to do that. So i went into the living room where my cousin &&& husband were watching the movie Jumper(really good movie actually);
after i came into the room w/ my niece &&& the laptop &&& began to fb/aim more &&& listen to Pandora :) i was supposed to start getting ready to go out later that night but i decided to just chill a little bit more. my niece then wanted me to put make up on her while i was organizing my makeup...here i was multitasking, so i put blush mascara &&& lipgloss on her &&& her lil face was glowing. :)
my cousin meanwhile was sleeping w/ her husband. she later woke up &&& told me if i wanted to go w/ her to drop off my niece w/ her grandpa so i didnt have another choice but to go w/ her. we drove over there while i was eating wheat thins &&& drinking a monster, singing to lady gaga &&& kasha in the car w/ the windows rolled down. it was wonderful.
i just loving being out in az during the afternoon &&& night...it feels sooooo good! i feel just @ home to me,even though i was born in the city of north hollywood. my <3 belongs in the peace of arizona, utah &&& mexico. i <3 cali too but i like the calmness of these places. they make me feel so @ PEACE w/ myself i dnt know if it is because when im there i reallyhave nothing to worry about or because these arent high paced place where everythign has to be done @ a now, not later basis.
after we got back from dropping off my niece sammy, we started getting ready to go out later that night . . .to me it was going to bethe first time cluubing &&& i didnt know what to expect, i was nervous to say the least for not knowing what i was getting myself into. so my cousin tells me we are goingto a foam party. . .wtf?!? foam party; hmmm the only time i have seen something about a foam party is where hulk holgans daughter is @ a club where they had a foam party. but then i was like what do i wear, i dont want to wear a dress, or a skirt, i dont have going out shorts &&& well i was just being undecisive. so i decided to wear this cute bubble shirt top i have that has floral print w/ my red velvet tie up bow heels :) &&& jeans of course. i straightened my hair, straightened my cousins &&& did my makeup &&& then my hair. we left @ exactly 11:30pm. got there @ 12 &&& when we got there i was like o em g this is sooooooooo not my scene! this people where not my regular of clubbing people &&& to tell you one last detail about this, i ended up going to a club in mex. this though was made up by there being an open bar club, &&& mainstream english music. But when the foam party started that was where i was kinda being somewhat CLAUSTROPHOBIC. But what i did like about this club is that it was open bar. so i drank my night up &&& danced my butt off. we left @ 2:45am because that is when the club was turning into a strip club girls taking off there clothes &&& doing a wet tshirt contest. . . so yeah no we left right after that. We then got ready to cross the border &&& the border patrol was amazing. this sir was making conversation w/ us &&& made me feel comfortable for the first time crossing the border. :) we then went to mickey d's to get food!!! i was hungry but i believe i was talking drunk lol we got home &&& i ate my cheeseburger in the room w/ my pandora playing &&& fb on &&& then i got up to drink fruit punch &&& then went back to my room &&& didnt go to sleep till 4:30am

az trip 1st day pt. 1

Getting here to az @ 3am was exhausting but going to sleep made it much better listening to pandora &&& talking to randy felder relaxed me even though i did not go to sleep till like 4 i guess. . . i woke up @ 9am by my lil niece kissing me on my cheek &&& telling me "Good Morning :)" it was really cute! So we were watching tv for a while &&& then ate cereal from one bowl i was like the cutest thing ever.
After we got ready to grocery shopping @ walmart &&& that was exhausting. we didnt get get back till like 1:30pm &&& we had left the house @ 11am. My cousin then drove me &&& my niece back to the house &&& we stayed to put the groceries away, my cousin &&& her fiance went to go buy some other stuff at another stuf. then i washed the dishes which calmed me down cause my niece who is 4 yrs old was sitting down playing with her barbies :)
it was nice kinda making me wish i had my own place....then i went into her room which is mine too for now. i made my bed which is a king size &&& hers is a single little bed. i made her bed &&& then i hanged up my dresses &&& sweaters &&& put my heels in my side of the closet took out my clothes &&& put it in the drawers &&& then put away all my toiletries.
my cousin then got here &&& she started to sort clothes to wash &&& then my lil niece got in the shower &&& i stayed to watch "monsters vs aliens" once she got out of the shower i got in. after my shower i got in comfty chillin clothes suuper cute shorts &&& t shirt then i brushed my hair &&& look like a sexy lioness if you ask me :) now im just waiting for the ceviche that my cousin is doing to be done so i can eat cause im hungry...grrr! so tonite ill come back &&& tell you guys how todays 2nd part of my day went :)

love

"Chicharito" Javier Hernandez

My <3! To me this guy is more than a sport crush, he is amazing he is one of the three generations in his family that have played in the world cup :) &&& even though he played on Chivas the opposing team to mine America. Now he is on one of the best teams out there MANCHESTER UNITED. now idgaf if he played on Chivas because he is the best soccer player out there right now &&& he is only 21. . . .he also makes himself the first mexican to work for them :)

Retreat weekend

so this weekend i was in big bear. . .

it all started friday @ 3pm. we stopped @ in &&& out for some burgers (animal style) &&& mickey d's for their new mc cafe frappes :)because we couldn’t find a starbucks... so my friends dropped us of @ in &&& out so they could go get the drinks but they got lost on the way back to in &&& out this took them 40 min....they were really lost! . . . after that we had sing-along in the car till we got to big bear :) it was the funnest thing ever singing to mexican love<3 music .

once we got there we had presentations on who everybody was, why they were here &&& tells us regular info like age fav. color &&& what not. after that they had dinner &&& then a topic on the <3 of GOD. That night Jay R a catholic singer who calls himself (the prophet) sang to them &&& talked to them about their conciense &&& listening to the good &&& evil thoughts inside your head in order to make correct decisions in your life.

after all the topics were done that night we had girls night talk :) where we talked till the wee hours of the morning day. . .we talked about who was the mentor of the girls, why they came to the retreat , what they would like to do w/ their life &&& what they wanted to change &&&/or receive. these girls were so decided to change their life because they had done drugs &&& other stuff that they knew it wouldnt didnt bring any good into their life. so w/ the <3 of God they knew that they were going to be able to let go of that addiction they have.

the boys on the other hand were the hmmmm lesson to my weekend. because 1/2 were ok &&& the other 1/2 didnt really want to change or were just hesitant of changing because throughout the retreat some were still hanging on to the stuff they thought they needed to still do in order to be who they thought they were. these kids.....smh. but in the end i realized that was just their defense mechanism of hiding who they were &&& a reason to call attention upon themselves.

that sat. was good alot of kids knew &&& realized that God was there for them whenever they needed anything they just need to praise him &&& let him know that they need some help. that night alot of them left there life on the altar &&& decided to become new changed kids for the <3 of God! :) i cried for having God give me such a great opportunity of seeing how he can break chains even in those that are enslaved by those wordly addictions.

that night we had a campfire &&& had our singers &&& guitarists there singing for us &&& playing angel baby &&& hotel california. we were just there under our covers hugging &&& enjoy nature, looking @ the stars &&& joking around. that night ended @ 1am.

I learned from these kids that there were so many things that made me realize how God really does exist in more than one way….&&& also how there are living miracles &&& God can turn someones world upside down even if it is horrible in more than 1 million ways. Some of these kids made me cry, laugh, understand why they were pushing my buttons, &&& wish I could put them in my pocket &&& protect them from the wordly stuff around them.

i will always have the thoughts of these kids going through these different situations. because they have been through hell &&& bacc &&& all have decided they were going to leave it up to God.

life in a new perspective

so first of all-im not going to say im not like alot of the girls out there....&&& you want to know why???

cause im a girl with the same habits as the ones i hang around w/.... all my habits are being passed down &&& inherited by the people I admire or see, it doesnt make me someone lets say more or less (original).yes i might be original in some ways, im unique, special &&& different yes! but come on its like im telling you where i get my clothes @, 200 more people arent buying the same thing.

i have alot of influence (pull) in my life that makes me the person i should be when im with people that dont know me. but im also original when im with people that bring out the originality of my essence out which also make me act &&& go towards the direction my life should be headed. even if it is when im bickering, arguing, complimenting, laughing, crying, &&& enjoying life; I know that the way im behaving is a way that I have learned from all the people in my life. Meaning that no matter how small or big a persons impression made on me I will either take one of their habits or @ least remember the way they behaved, eventually that tic will itch @ me &&& I will aquire that habit too.

Knowing that I have people in my life that actually push me to my limits makes me feel like a very lucky person. i didnt actually know this till i was able to realize that the world dsnt revolve around me....with my dad being there to tell me that my ego was to big &&& that i need to be more humble, &&& w/ my best friend being able to try to break my habit of being an attention seeker &&& center of attention hogger. . . .it made me feel well like a failure because I looked @ my habits &&& noticed that there not all bad but then I looked @ it in another perspective &&& knew that I acted the way I acted because my behaviors were acquired from people I mostly hang around with.

Colbie Caillat - I Never Told You

this song right now is like something that speaks for me &&& makes me realize i should let things go. . . .&&& let life go on

Love my blog!

So today is my first blogging day. Im not a professional but I got addicted to this by
my wonderful friend Alicia
&&& my Bestie Yanel :)